Tuesday morning, 10:45am. The first court hearing on our divorce. I was so incredibly nervous. The thought of just walking into the court house and coming face to face with him absolutely petrified me. This was our "case management conference hearing". If your like me, you have absolutely no idea what that means. My lawyer had explained to me that not much was going to happen. The magistrate (I still haven't figured out the difference between a magistrate and a judge) would ask each party if any agreements had been reached. Probably none would be, and that would be reported to the court. The magistrate will then set the case for mediation.
I brought my mother with me to court. Most of my friends had to work and I just wasn't sure that I could walk into that court house by myself. (Not to mention, that it's incredibly difficult to admit, even to your closest friends, how terrifying this was for you.) My lawyer was already going to be there on another case and advised that she would "find me". (It's strange at how something so minuscule could be so terrifying.) As I said, the thought of facing him by myself was more than I could bare. My mother was actually pleased that I asked her to accompany me. Of all times, this was one where I needed my mom. The district court house for our area is tiny. No security to speak of, one court room, the clerk's office, a 3 or 4 small conference rooms. When we arrived, we walked down the hallway toward the "holding area" (a little open area with benches) in front of the court room. He was already there with his attorney. Our eyes met for just a moment, and suddenly I couldn't breath. I turned to make a hasty retreat but then I heard my attorney's voice call my name and motion me into one of the conference rooms. She advised that there was still no agreement on property (aka furniture, belongings, etc) but that his attorney had submitted a "child support worksheet". I advised her that on Saturday I received a check from him, in the amount of $85.00 and it was marked "child support" on the subject line. She confirmed that according to the formula, he was to pay $85.00 per week in child support. She handed me a copy of the worksheet. I looked it over, still trying to catch my breath. Once again, I realized he had lied... lied about his income on the worksheet. He claimed that his NYPD retirement was $33,000 per year. I told her his income was $58,000 per year and that I had given her copies of his 2010 W-2s to prove it. She said she knew that, but that "this was not the time to dispute his claim." She went on to say that it was better to receive SOMETHING now, and we could argue about the amount later. My head was spinning and I was furious. It seemed like once again, he was getting away with his lies.
We entered the courtroom and sat down at our table. He glared at me a few times and I sunk deeper into my chair. The magistrate asked several questions of both attorneys. Things happened so quickly that I wasn't exactly sure what the magistrate was saying until he looked directly at me and asked, "Is there a Protection from Abuse Order that I should know about?" My lawyer responded, "No, but there are bail conditions." While the magistrate continued to look at me, he asked "Bail conditions?" It was obvious he was trying to engage me to speak but all I could do was sink even further down in my chair and only nod. The magistrate tossed a glaring look at my husband and then his eyes returned to me. He asked in what seemed to be a very easing voice, "Is there a paternity issue?" I shook my head no. They moved on to agreements. My attorney reported to him that the only agreement we had was a temporary agreement in child support. My husband's mouthpiece of an attorney handed the magistrate the child support worksheet. He looked it over. My attorney rose to speak and my husband's attorney interrupted. He babbled on about the criminal charge of domestic violence, the lack of evidence in the case, etc etc. The magistrate cut him off in mid-sentence and directed his attention back to me. He said, "Mr. P----s income appears to be $33,000. Is that correct?" I shook my head no. My attorney rose again and said that we dispute the amount but are willing to agree to a TEMPORARY order of support (emphasizing temporary) pending mediation. My husband's attorney began again and the magistrate, once again, cut him off in mid-sentence. He said, "I will enter this into the order as a TEMPORARY order of support." He then spoke directly to me and advised that this hearing was only for status. He did not have the authority at this time to settle any disputes but that my attorney would have the opportunity to do so at a later date. He asked, "Do you understand?" I managed to whisper, "yes". He gave me, what seemed like, an empathetic look. My husband's attorney then stood up and began challenging my right to remain in the residence, advising that his client wanted to move back into HIS house. My attorney stood and responded that her client was willing to move but only once the property got settled. My husband's attorney kept babbling. The magistrate then said to my husband's lawyer, "Your client needs to settle the property if he wants to move back into the house". He set the case for mediation on June 14th followed by another status hearing 2 hours later.
It was over so quickly, that I just sat at the table for moment. I heard my husband's attorney say to him, "Before you leave, we need to go over the list of what she wants again and see what you can agree to." Did what I think just happen, actually happen?? Did it seem like the magistrate understood what I was going through? My attorney looked at me and smiled. OMFG... it did!!! For the first time since this entire mess began, I felt just a smidgen of confidence. My husband had NOT won the first court battle of sorts. He did NOT have the edge at this point. Suddenly, it felt like 4 tons of weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was able to catch my breath. My eyes welled up with tears... but this time they were tears of joy. I stole just a quick glance at my husband. He was red-faced, ears were glowing, I knew he was furious. His attorney seemed to be attempting to calm him down as they walked out of the courtroom. I rose on shaky legs, managed to stand, and held on to the table for just a moment. My attorney advised that she would see me tomorrow in criminal court for his bail conditions hearing. I nodded and walked out of the courtroom. My husband was sitting out on the benches with his lawyer reviewing the household inventory. He looked up and glared at me. But his stare was different. Gone was the arrogance and smugness. I mustered just enough gall to meet his glare. His jaw clenched. While my mouth remained straight, my eyes smiled. I could feel the confidence building instantaneously. I looked back at him for what seemed like an eternity. His face turned more red and he slouched down on the bench. My mother was at my side, with a big smile pasted on her face. I straightened my posture, pushed my shoulders back, lifted my head high and walked out of the courthouse. I had survived!
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